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Safety Tips for Children who use Social Networking Sites

We tell our children not to talk to strangers. What about the strangers who may be lurking in your home?? This column will focus on suggestions and tips you can share with your children who utilize social networking websites.

As discussed in previous columns, 79% of teenagers report they provide too much personal information online and 62% say or do things online they would not want parents to see. That’s rather startling, isn’t it?

As mentioned in the above statistic, it is imperative children do not give out too much identifying personal information. When using social networking sites, insist your children do not give out or post their full name, social security number, home address, location, email address, school name, phone number, date of birth, or real age. Instead, use a non-descript gender-neutral screen or user name. For example, let’s use the fictitious name of Sally89 and SoccerBoyl12. Would you say those are appropriate user names to have? Probably not, they provide too many “clues”. Sally89 could imply that this person is a female and 89 may suggest the year she was born. SoccerBoy12 implies this is a male, who might have an interest in soccer, and is 12 years old. Instead, use a non-descript name such as Table01 or Internet5. Those user names do not give out any identifying information. When online, stress to your children, personal information must remain PRIVATE.

Also, when using a social networking site, restrict access to the profile, using privacy settings, talking only to people known in real life. Never accept unsolicited email, files, photographs, videos or attachments from online strangers. This is important not only from a personal safety standpoint, but will help keep your computer free from viruses, etc. Passwords should not be shared with anyone, including friends (Parents, however, should know their children’s passwords as well as all email accounts) Friends may, as a joke, or because they are angry, log onto another’s account and could potentially send or post hurtful or incendiary emails or set up faux sites, pretending to be your child. When publishing information, be it text, images, or videos, only post appropriate content. Remember, what is published or said online today, may come back to haunt you tomorrow. That information may keep your child from getting a job in the future or attending a specific school. If your child does choose to use a picture, blur or morph it before posting. Use “netiquette”, or online etiquette. Don’t say things on the Internet you would not say to someone in person. When it comes to questionnaires or surveys, parental permission must be given first.

If your child is a victim of cyber bullying, or knows someone who is, stress to your children to TELL an adult. Many parents are unaware of cyber bullying and unfortunately, most children do not tell an adult if they have been cyber bullied or harassed online. Cyber bullying is a growing problem that will be discussed at length in future columns. Stress to you children if something online makes them feel scared, uncomfortable or worried, immediately tell a trusted adult.

Many predators are experts at “grooming”, charming and gaining our children’s trust after a period of time, confiding in them, and visa versa, finding their weaknesses, their desires, and exploiting them. The predator spends an inordinate amount of time hoping to gain the child’s trust by using various techniques. Once trust is established, the friendship may be headed in a totally different direction. In the child’s eyes, these online friends are no longer strangers; he is a friend. So when we tell our children not to talk to strangers, in their mind, this person is no longer a stranger. We MUST make it clear, when we are online; we never really know who we are talking to, even if the online stranger has a picture, a video, etc. Lastly, enforce to your children to never agree to meet an online “friend” in person, without telling a trusted adult first.

By sharing these tips with your children, at the very least, it will begin a dialog. Communication and awareness is critical in keeping our children safer online.

© 2007, Jace Shoemaker-Galloway